Snooki will be writing a novel - as soon as she masters those pesky consonants. #snooki

Snooki Is Writing A Novel

Snooki, the Solzhenitsyn of the Shore, will be surprising us with this novel. Get out your dictionaries, because it is a long, poetic examination of the tragedy of the entire generation lost in the two world wars, concentrating on the contrasts between a fading family of idealistic English aristocrats, and a doomed family of brilliant Polish Jews who became great artists and scientists after working their way up from dire poverty, only to see everything taken away by the Nazis.

Or it might be about a very short, fat, slutty chick with an orange tan who hangs out in Jersey with a bunch of drunks who fight a lot.

She hasn't decided yet.

She's going to give it more thought as soon as she masters those pesky vowels. Did you know there are five of them, plus sometimes y and w? How did Hemingway remember all that shit?