Broncos K Matt Prater to be suspended four games for "drinking a few beers at home"

Broncos K Matt Prater to be suspended four games for "drinking a few beers at home"

If he had only beaten up a woman instead, he could have cut the suspension in half.

The line above is not a joke. Oh, I guess it's kinda funny, sorta, but the reason it isn't a joke is that it is literally true. If he had beaten his woman instead of drinking some beers, he would have been suspended for two games instead of four.