Dave Barry's 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

Dave Barry's 2016 Holiday Gift Guide

example:

POOP LIKE A CHAMPION CEREAL

Here’s a thoughtful gift that is sure to make an impression on everybody on your holiday gift list who has a colon. Unlike ordinary “ho-hum” breakfast cereals, Poop Like A Champion contains — and here we are quoting the manufacturer — “a stupendous amount of soluble and insoluble fiber.” This cereal will blast through your digestive tract the way Godzilla went through Tokyo, clearing out everything in its path. Your colon will be as clean as a whistle, as empty as a prairie in January. It might even emit tumbleweeds. So this year, give the gift that says — and here we are again quoting the manufacturer — “Your life is about to change from the bottom up.”