Other Crap

Movie Juice reviews the hilariously inept Alone in the Dark.

• The protagonists chase down a zillion phony-looking CGI creatures who not only live in the dark but are invisible. The best question of the day is asked by this reviewer: Why would they evolve to be invisible if they live IN THE DARK? My answer: nature was preparing them for the arrival of Tara Reid with a flashlight.
• I haven't seen this flick, but it is sad to see that such a film, which is obviously not even at the level of the best straight-to-vids, is occupying 2100 screens when some worthy films struggle to get a chance to be seen. In fact, in the past year I saw a film called Mindhunters which had the same star (Christian Slater) and a decent director (Renny Harlin). That film was essentially never released in the United States. While Mindhunters is no Schindler's List, it is reasonably entertaining in a popcorn movie way, and is rated 6.3 at IMDb. Surely that would have been a much better bet than Alone in the Dark to get some greenbacks from Christian Slater's American fans.