Other Crap

Mother fakes her husband’s death in Iraq to win Hannah Montana tickets for her daughter

Wasn't that the plot of a Brian DePalma movie? And then it turned out that her husband was not only alive, but a psychopath who intends to kill Hannah Montana!

The plot thickens when he misses Montana and kills his own daughter, never dreaming that his cheap-ass, estranged, trailer-trash wife could afford such pricey tickets.

And then, of course, he awakens in Iraq - he actually is there after all, mortally wounded, and the whole movie has just been based on his last conscious thoughts.

He dies, thus enabling his wife to get the Hannah Montana tickets for real, in the eternal cycle that is the crazy thing I like to call "life."

If you liked that plot, don't miss my new zombie movie. It's called Dawn of the Casablanca Dead. So far I only have two lines of dialogue and they go a little something like this:

• LOUIS: "Major Strasser is dead. His brain has been eaten." Louis pauses, looks at Rick, who has been turned into a zombie and has blood and brains over his mouth. "Round up the usual zombies."
  
• RICK: "Louis, this could have been the start of a beautiful friendship if I didn't have an unfightable urge to eat your brains."