"Honestly, I wouldn’t know; I hate awards shows with a vitriol that can only be harbored by those desperately jealous of award winners. In my life, I have won the following:
- A Macarena Contest
- A Soccer Participation Trophy
- A Miniburger-Eating Contest
- The Spanish National Lottery (Yet to be confirmed, but I’ve received several promising emails)
And at the conferrals of all above awards, I never once got the chance to make a speech, although if I had they all would have all gone like this: 'Fuck all of you. None of you believed in me. You all laughed! Well, NOW who’s holding the fucking 15-Dollar Payless gift certificate, you cunts?!' Then I’d Macarena off, bitches on either arm."
Friday, December 21, 2007
What if They Threw an Awards Show and no one Came? | Cracked.com
"What if They Threw an Awards Show and no one Came?"
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment