Other Crap

Invention of the year: Cheating wife? Wayward daughter? Keep tabs on them with GPS panties.

"These panties can give you her location, and even her temperature and heart rate, and she will never even know it's there! Unlike the cumbersome and uncomfortable chastity belts of the past, these panties are 100% cotton, and use cutting-edge technology to help you protect what matters most."

Let me see if I understand this. They are 100% cotton, but they send a signal with a transmitter of some kind. So, either the transmitter is made of cotton, or the panties include more than 100% worth of stuff. I am thus duly impressed either by the marvelous cotton-based technology or the marvelous math!

I don't really have a woman to give them to, but I'm going to pick up a few pair for myself, so I can monitor my own temperature and heart rate, while enjoying the comfort of 100% cotton. Plus, at my age I often forget where the hell I am.

(Get this - the panties cost $180 per pair - and they are sold out!!)