The Spiderwick Chronicles - The Filthy Critic

The Spiderwick Chronicles, as reviewed by The Filthy Critic

"It's sort of fucking sick to think that our entertainment and someone else's art can be turned into an interchangeable, commodified and bland pile of nothing. Here's the thing: there's nothing wrong with The Spiderwick Chronicles. It's well-made with what looks like a pretty fucking big budget. There are special effects where they're supposed to be. There are lots of thrilling ups and downs and huge battles with fantasy creatures like goblins and ogres. It's got a portal to a fantasy world that only kids can see through, and an adult who doesn't believe them. And, it has little ones who suffer because of the incompetence of adults. It has all the shit that some grassfucking lame-assed executive has on his generic checklist of what every fantasy movie must have in order to be a big fucking hit. In other words, what every fantasy movie before it has had. Spiderwick Chronicles doesn't try to do anything better than has already been done; it just wants to put a new brand name on it."