Penis theft panic hits city.. | U.S. | Reuters

"Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises"

"Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur. Rumors of penis theft began circulating last week."

Honey, remember last week when I said my penis was missing because lightning struck it? I was just too embarassed to admit it was stolen.