McCain to Hide Inside Podium at Debate - Borowitz Report

McCain to Hide Inside Podium at V.P. Debate

"In an indication that he is less than confident about his running mate's ability to perform at the vice-presidential debate, Republican presidential nominee John McCain confirmed plans to hide inside Gov. Sarah Palin's podium during the televised face-off."

Palin vs Biden - the ultimate demonstration of America's reckless disregard for the brainpower and competence of its vice president, as exemplified by such stalwarts as Dan Quayle.

While it is true that any idiot can perform the responsibilities of the vice presidency, that same idiot could cause some serious problems if the president should pass away during his/her term. And one of these two bozos will be the next V.P. It almost makes you think you have to vote for Obama just because he has a better chance of surviving the term, so there's little chance Biden will ever get a chance to do anything meaningful.

Hell, even I would be a great vice president as long as the boss stayed healthy. I'd stay home and have the paycheck deposited directly. The senate can page me if they need a tie-breaker, and I would always keep a coin in my pocket to flip on such august occasions. But if my boss died, America would be in some deep shit.

On the other hand, I could really help out the economic crisis by taking ten percent from every Nigerian prince I agree to assist. After a while that's gotta really mount up. As my old Polish granny once said, "If you save every penny you ever have, someday you'll be old, and you'll look in that jar, and you might have as much as a nickel." She was a wise woman. Oh, sorry, that's a typo. I meant to type, "She was a WIDE woman." And not a real smart one.

In other words, she was good vice-presidential material.