Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Hey, did I call it or what? Six months ago I predicted Ralph Nader would come in third. Did I call it?" --Jay Leno

"And, of course, it was a huge celebration over at Barack Obama headquarters, otherwise known as MSNBC." --Jay Leno

"President Bush said today that he watched the coverage on TV last night and he was amazed. He was amazed, he couldn't believe how many states there were. They're all over the place!" --Jay Leno

"See, I got to admit, as a comedian, I'm gonna miss President Bush. Because Barack Obama is not easy to do jokes about. He doesn't give you a lot to go on. See, this is why God gave us Joe Biden." --Jay Leno

"When one door closes, another opens up. That's how the world works. And did you see that hologram thing they were using on CNN? That was pretty neat. They use a 3-D hologram image of a person projected right in studio. Made it look like the person that was really there in person. Same technology they use to make Larry King look like he's still alive." --Jay Leno

"A huge turnout in Hollywood. In fact, for the first time ever, there were more celebrities in voting booths than in rehab." --Jay Leno

"Anybody get a robo-call from Bill Clinton? They had those out there, too. See, I knew it was from Clinton right away, because if a man answers, it automatically hangs up." --Jay Leno

"And in what has to be one of the most ridiculous moments yesterday, it looks like convicted Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska has won re-election. How does that make the guy who lost feel, huh? What's that concession speech like? 'We gave it our best, but the voters preferred a convicted, 84-year-old felon.'" --Jay Leno

"All the major networks declared Barack Obama the winner at 11 last night, except for MSNBC, which declared Obama the winner six months ago." --Conan O'Brien

"Bush invited Obama to come visit him at the White House, which was a nice thing to do. He wants to show him, I guess, the presidential tree house and teach him how to turn the Oval Office couch cushions into a fort." --Jimmy Kimmel

"I watched Obama’s victory speech in Grant Park. I actually loved watching the shots of the crowd, which looked like a Benetton ad — different races, different ages, all different kinds of people. I thought it was fantastic. Meanwhile, over at McCain’s speech, there were all different kinds of white people. They had tons of them -- yuppies, golfers, Osmonds." --Craig Ferguson