Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Vice Presidential Handlers Lure Cheney Into Traveling Crate

"A team of nine specially trained handlers have successfully lured outgoing vice president Dick Cheney into a reinforced steel traveling crate in order to transport him back to his permanent enclosure in Casper, WY, official sources reported Monday. 'He's a smart one. Once he sees the crate, he gets pretty nippy, but we've learned a few tricks over the years,' chief VP wrangler Ted Irving breathlessly said while applying pressure to a deep gash on his forearm. 'If we break a rabbit's legs and throw it in there, he will eventually go in to finish it off.'"