Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"You know, folks, a lesser man would try to pander to you. But I'm not going to do that. Besides, you would never fall for it, because you are the sharpest, coolest, sexiest fighting force in the history of mankind." --Stephen Colbert

"But you know, it must be nice here in Iraq, because I understand some of you keep coming back again, and again, and again. ... The good news is, you've earned enough frequent flier miles for a free ticket to Afghanistan." --Stephen Colbert

"But folks, this newsman is here. Why? Well, for a lot of reasons. First, medical. My doctor said I wasn't getting enough dust. Second, personal. I've always wanted to be able to cook a microwave burrito in my pants." --Stephen Colbert

"In a new interview, Hillary Clinton said she originally turned down the job as secretary of state. Yup. After hearing about it, Bill Clinton said, 'Yeah, that's not the only kind of job she's turned down.'" --Conan O'Brien

"You know who was in town this weekend, went to a Yankee game? Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska. And she was up there with Rudy Giuliani. They were sitting together. And their seats were, well, let me tell you where their seats were. They were way, way in far right field. While she was at the Yankee game, Sarah Palin managed to spend $150,000 on hats and t-shirts." --David Letterman

"One awkward moment, though, during the game. Maybe you heard about it, maybe you saw it on one of the highlight reels, one awkward moment for Sarah Palin at the Yankee game. During the seventh inning stretch, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez." --David Letterman