Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Thank you very much. Welcome to the 'Late Show', ladies and gentlemen. Now, when I call your name, please come forward and pick up your apology. I want to get through this as quickly as possible so you folks can get to the 'Fire Dave' rally. It's nice that people hate me who are no longer just part of my immediate family. My son, you know, he's telling everybody at school that his father is Conan." --David Letterman

"Iran has been really cracking down on foreign journalists. So now, they're actually preventing reporters from leaving their hotel rooms. And this, of course, leaves the journalists with nothing to do but order up sexy movies of women wearing slacks." --Conan O'Brien

"General Motors has sold the car company Saab to a European company that only produces about a dozen cars a year. General motors said, 'It's a perfect fit because we only sell a dozen cars a year.'" --Conan O'Brien

"John McCain said on his Twitter feed, on Monday, that he's buying a brand new Ford Fusion Hybrid. A year ago, McCain didn't use a computer. Now he's on Twitter and buying a hybrid. What's going on? I think he's like Benjamin Button. He'll be a cute little baby." --Jimmy Fallon

"This is a crazy story. Fidel Castro, the former Cuban dictator, has a son named Antonio. That's not the crazy part. The crazy part — for eight months, Antonio Castro carried on an online affair with what he thought was a beautiful Colombian woman. That woman turned out to be a man, a Cuban activist who lives in Miami. It's especially fun because the Internet is difficult to access in Cuba. To get online in Cuba, you know, you have to give — I think you have to give five fish to a guy who has ColecoVision hooked up to a 1958 Impala." --Jimmy Kimmel