Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"It was big night on television tonight. And instead of showing President Obama's healthcare speech that was on tonight, Fox aired its season premiere of 'So You Think You Can Dance.' I guess they wanted to give viewers a choice between hearing what's wrong with our country and watching what's wrong with our country." --Jimmy Fallon

"Fox aired 'So You Think You Can Dance' and 'Glee.' So, you'll probably spend the next couple of days explaining the healthcare plan to your gay friends." --Jimmy Fallon

"Barack Obama, of course, is not the first president to have 'you lie' yelled at him. Bill Clinton got that all the time, but only from Hillary. And that was only after he came home and told her he lost his pants in a tornado." –Craig Ferguson

"Back when George Bush was president, Democrats in Congress, to be fair, would occasionally go 'Boooo!' But President Bush never took it personally, he just thought Congress was haunted." --Craig Ferguson

"After Joe Wilson's outburst, everyone was shocked. Because usually when a politician shoots off his mouth and makes a fool of himself, his name is Joe Biden. But even Vice President Biden said he was embarrassed by Wilson's behavior. This is Joe Biden we're talking about. Joe Biden saying it's embarrassing is like an Australian bartender saying you've had too much to drink." --Craig Ferguson

"Earlier today, he's still going, President Obama gave another speech about health care. This one to a roomful of nurses. Yeah. Still no word on what Bill Clinton was doing there." --Conan O'Brien

"President Obama giving a lot of very important speeches. He gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to succeed they need to work hard and study hard. Then today, former President George W. Bush presented the rebuttal." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, when President Obama addressed the country's schoolchildren, he told them to stop dreaming about becoming professional athletes. In fact, it was the same exact speech Obama gave last year to the Los Angeles Clippers." --Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday, Florida Senator Mel Martinez, the only Hispanic Republican in the Senate, officially stepped down. Yeah. The Republican senator who replaced Martinez thanked him, and then had him deported." --Conan O'Brien

"The University of Wyoming recently announced they are naming an international student center after former Vice President Dick Cheney because if there are two things that make you think 'welcome foreigners,' it's Dick Cheney and Wyoming." --Conan O'Brien

"The Dick Cheney Center for International Students. It's just two buildings over from the George W. Bush Institute for Pretzel Safety." --Jimmy Fallon