Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Former President Clinton is sponsoring a conference called the Clinton Global Initiative. It's going to be attended by Alicia Keys, Demi Moore, Mira Sorvino and supermodel Molly Simms. It's in the paper, yeah, that's true. Apparently he's calling it the Clinton Global Initiative, 'cause it sounds better than the 'Bill Clinton Dream Five-Way.' That didn't look good on the stationery." --Conan O'Brien

"Busy weekend for the president. This Sunday, President Obama is going to appear on five different television shows, did you know that? Five different on Sunday. Even more amazing, on all five shows, he plays the wacky neighbor." --Conan O'Brien

"Right now in Washington, D.C., they're holding something called the Values Voters Summit. This is a gathering of conservative activists at the Omni Hotel. During the day, they get together and talk about values and politics, and then at night, they sneak hookers up to their hotel rooms. " --Jimmy Kimmel

"Big story. Earlier today, President Obama said that he's dropping President Bush's plan for a missile defense shield. Obama is also dropping President Bush's plan to build an elite army of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots." --Conan O'Brien

"Today, what else is going on? Former Vice President Dick Cheney underwent minor surgery on his back. The doctor told Cheney it's a simple operation, he'd be up and having heart surgery in no time." --Conan O'Brien

"A new Nielsen survey found that Washington, D.C., has the most 25- to 34-year-olds in the country who make over $100,000 a year. They're called hookers." --Jimmy Fallon

"Vince McMahon's wife, Linda, is stepping down as the CE. of World Wrestling Entertainment to run for the Senate in Connecticut. Things are going well for her. She's already raised a ton of campaign money from the folding chair industry." --Jimmy Fallon

"She's promising to lower taxes, reduce government, and pile-drive the Iron Sheik." --Jimmy Fallon