"The State Department has issued a travel warning. They've warned Rick Sanchez not to travel to Israel."

Late Night Jokes Updated

"The State Department has issued a travel warning. They've warned Rick Sanchez not to travel to Israel."

"We're now in the longest, deepest recession since the Great Depression. When this recession started, Lindsay Lohan was known for her acting."

"A Senate has passed a new bill that requires TV stations to lower the volume level on commercials. This is great, a hundred of the most powerful people in the nation have managed to do the same thing my remote does."

"The White House has issued an alert for American tourists traveling in Europe over fears of a terror attack. But the joke's on you, terrorists. We can't afford to go to Europe."

"They say Osama bin Laden is struggling to stay relevant. Welcome to the club. In his latest audio tape, bin Laden is talking about global warming. If he thinks it's hot now, wait until he gets to hell."