Dallas is facing a serious stripper shortage

Dallas is facing a serious stripper shortage

Mathematicians from across the globe have been feverishly working on an econometric stripper optimization model, which is generally viewed as the Holy Grail of mathematics now that a proof for Fermat's Last Theorem seems to be widely accepted. The key is to create an SOM that can account not only for everyday business-as-usual, but can also allow the strip club manager to predict how many strippers will be needed in times of elastic demand generated by unusual seasonal variances.

The current crisis: "For the Super Bowl, a comfortable tourist-to-stripper ratio is about 30-1. But at present, the Dallas area has nowhere near that number of girls on hand."