The gold goes to Dong Dong or, as he is known in China, where the surname comes first, Dong Dong

LONDON: Dave Barry: Legendarily named trampolinist makes mark at London Olympics

"Until these Olympic games, few people had ever heard of Dong Dong, outside of roughly 1.3 billion Chinese. Because Dong Dong — or, as he is known in China, where the surname comes first, 'Dong Dong' — competes in the trampoline, which a lot of people didn't even realize was an Olympic sport. There are quite a few sports like that here. For example, did you know that there is an Olympic event called 'Women's Laser Radial?' Well there is. It is also known as (really) 'Women's Singlehanded Dinghy.' I don't know what goes on in that event, and I frankly don't want to know."