The 7 Most Profoundly Depressing Celebrity Cruises | Cracked.com

The 7 Most Profoundly Depressing Celebrity Cruises | Cracked.com

"R. Kelly is famous for two things. The lesser source of his fame is a music career that is still kicking to this day because, as Chris Brown fans will assure you, any soulless, shit-encrusted twat waffle will still be idolized by scores of fans so long as he can produce albums and look marginally attractive, regardless of his sordid illegal proclivities. The more noteworthy source of his infamy is, of course, his penchant for golden showers. Oh, and the fact that he's a serial pederast. People keep forgiving him for that despite evidence of, what, three underage girls that we know of? Yes, well, let's all go on a cruise with him."

"Can you even begin to fathom anything quite so soul-satisfying as being at sea with Karl Rove? He's like Satan's deadbeat brother who can't do anything right. As you might expect, Rove wore a jacket all the time and pants you'd best describe as "trousers," because the man knows how to party. To further emphasize this, the cruise had scheduled time to smoke cigars and drink cognac, because sitting on a sinister throne and laughing maniacally didn't play well with focus groups."