"Don't Jerk and Drive" in South Dakota

"Don't Jerk and Drive" in South Dakota

For if you do, you'll come to no good.


Also, do not do any of the following in South Dakota:

Adjusting the antenna
Taking it in for a lube job
Auto erotica
Manual gear shift
Tuning the horn
Improving the stroke ratio
Rotating the crankshaft
Manipulating the odometer
Applying the hand brake
Hitting the speedbump
Using the self-serve pump

If you're in that region and feel the need to ... er ... manipulate your gear stick, please cross over into NORTH Dakota, where all of the above actions are not only permitted, but are actually encouraged.

But make sure you've switched Dakotas and beware false border signs. The South Dakota State Troopers are a tricky lot.

Actually, I'm sad to report that South Dakota has cancelled the "Don't Jerk and Drive" PSAs. You might say that they "pulled the campaign," if you know what I mean.