"Roger Goodell Is A Shit-Eating Moron"

"Roger Goodell Is A Shit-Eating Moron"

Technically, I believe he is actually a lying moron, although ESPN suspended and eventually fired Bill Simmons for pointing that out. Although a federal judge officially declared Goodell a liar in the Ray Rice arbitration hearing, there is no evidence that the commissioner actually consumes crap, although he has been known to devour unborn babies. He even sprinkles them on his corn flakes instead of fruit, and they are his preferred topping on pizza. That's why his employees never take a slice when they order out during meetings. The headline writer probably confused feces and fetus because they sound alike.

All kidding aside, the greatest problem with the NFL disciplinary process is that Goodell is the prosecutor, the judge, the jury and the appeals judge. He gets things wrong, as anyone would, and as he did in the Ray Rice decision or the Peterson suspension, in which a federal judge again accused the NFL (read "Goodell") of lying to get their way by declaring that the NFL's statement that "the New Policy is consistent with the previous Policy is contradicted by the Commissioner’s own statements in which he acknowledged that the New Policy included ‘changes’ to the Policy.”

There is nobody to overrule the commissioner unless the player or team goes through a long arbitration process which can often eventually require a lawsuit or threatened lawsuit to get a set of impartial eyes on the case. By the time that process reaches a disinterested jurist, the player may have lost one of the prime years of his life.

The situation is better for the players than for the owners. The players are protected, at least to some extent, by the collective bargaining agreement, but the owners are governed by the rule of submission. That creates some irony in the Ballghazi case. Brady, who seems to be guilty, can appeal his suspension without pay, but the Patriots' organization, which appears to be innocent, cannot appeal their fine or the loss of their draft picks. The fine is meaningless, because the Patriots will actually make a profit on that. The million dollar fine is more than offset by the money they do not have to pay Brady during those four games. The draft picks, however, are a big deal, especially the first-rounder. Robert Kraft, owner of the Patriots, has to be upset about that, and as Deadspin has noted, "It’s still early in this farce, but no marionette (meaning Goodell) has ever been well-served by attacking its own puppeteer. (Kraft)"