Thursday, March 15, 2018

Harper Lee Estate Sues Over Aaron Sorkin Adaptation of 'To Kill a Mockingbird'

UPDATE: Harper Lee Estate Sues Over Aaron Sorkin Adaptation of 'To Kill a Mockingbird'

They should lose this just because they were dumb enough to sign a contract which would allow Aaron Sorkin to adapt the book. Anybody who has seen any Aaron Sorkin production knows that the sympathetic characters just deliver long-winded speeches that sound like Aaron Sorkin talking.

Reader comment: I picture Atticus striding purposefully saying, "Scout - walk with me."

Sorkin is bad enough, but if they made it into a musical they should be maimed.

Scoop's reply: I have the inside scoop that Carly Simon is involved in the music. In fact, there's a new version of one of her old standards:

Everybody have you heard
Mama's gonna kill you a mockingbird
And if that bird don't pass away
Mama's gonna fry you a popinjay
And if that popinjay don't burn
Mama's gonna gun down a big sea erne
And if that giant bird pulls through
Mama's gonna choke a cockatoo ...

Unlike the book, the play will also explore the second part of the old saw that it's bad luck to kill a mockingbird, namely that it is possible to end the curse by killing a second mockingbird. It works on the same scientific principle that allows Gilligan to regain his memory by being conked on the head by a second coconut.

It seems the bad luck only accrues to those who kill an ODD number of mockingbirds. Any even number is safe.

5 comments:

  1. I picture Atticus striding purposefully saying, "Scout - walk with me."

    Sorkin is bad enough, but if they made it into a musical they should be maimed.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everybody have you heard

    Mama's gonna kill you a mockingbird

    And if that bird don't pass away

    Mama's gonna fry a popinjay

    And if that popinhay don't burn

    Mamma's gonna light up a big sea erne

    And if that giant bird lives too

    Mamma's gonna kill a cockatoo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well, by that logic, rescuing a mockingbird from certain death is bad luck, because -1 is an odd number.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, the solution to that is simple. After the mockingbird regains its health, you must kill it, thus restoring the delicate and critical mockingbird equilibrium of the universe.

      Delete
  4. So you take a mockingbird, put it in a box next to a decaying proton.
    Then, based on your luck, you can tell whether the mockingbird is dead or alive and derive the state of the particle.
    Excuse me, I have to go write this up then buy a plane ticket to Stockholm.

    ReplyDelete