Other Crap

The masseuse who discovered the body of Heath Ledger in a Manhattan apartment on Tuesday called Mary-Kate Olsen, twice, before calling 911.

I don't see anything unusual there. I always consult a minor celebrity before calling for the police or an ambulance. Right now my speed dial list includes Bronson Pinchot, Sam the Sham, C. Everett Koop, and both Shields and Yarnell.

"But Scoop," you're thinking, "why did she call Mary-Kate Olsen TWICE?" Well, obviously she thought that one of the calls was to Ashley. Remember I call BOTH Shields and Yarnell. In fact, I am really at a loss when Shields and Yarnell give me conflicting advice, a problem exacerbated by the fact that they give their advice in "mime," which is difficult enough to understand when you can see it, but is downright impossible on the phone